Chapter 5: In Which We Discuss Resolutions

Just now, I opened the blog and got ready for a new entry, only to be halted when I saw that a looming and knowing number served as the date for its sad revival. January 1^st. Oh no. Whatever you promise to get done on January first never gets done. Aren't there statistics out there about how gym memberships are always up at the first of the year, nicotine patches are being sold by the pallet, and packs of Rosetta Stone are being purchased with the intent of finally picking up another language because all those kids in Europe already know at least five? For me, resolutions always looked eerily similar to the list Nick finds at the end of the Great Gatsby. I am forever haunted by the adolescent Gatsby's planned routine of exercise and intellect that I've always thought mirrored my own aspirations: brains and beauty. Yes, to have it all!

I must tell myself that the blog is not a resolution. Because it's not. I have given up on resolutions. The only one I ever kept successfully was to keep the Sabbath and it was the best decision I ever made. I'm not sure what else could top that. I have been living these past two or three years with one day of the week set aside for reading, praying, socializing, crafting, snoozing, and television. All other days of the week can be occupied with work if they need to be. But Sundays (or really more like Saturdays now) are special and they are set aside like I feel like they should be.

Since I've kept a New Year's Resolution for at least a year, I know I can cross that particular notion off the collective, cosmic to-do list. And once that is crossed off, why rub it in people's faces by doing it again? Hence forth, we will not call the blog a resolution.

Let's trade it for another word with only slightly different connotation. It is an aspiration. I aspire to write creatively and share my thoughts. I aspire to remain connected with family and friends near and far.

My husband and I have just experienced a very bittersweet goodbye when we drove away from his childhood home for the last time. His parents sold it, packed it up, and moved about 12 hours away from sweaty South to frigid North to begin a new adventure in a ministry that is based there. We are incredibly excited for them and their new mission, but we are equally grieving the loss of my in-laws being so close to us. Still, we tell ourselves, as my mother-in-love said in her email, it's not China! And for that, we're very grateful.

If there would be anything to resolve to be, it would be grateful. In all situations, with all people, in every day, to find something to be grateful for would be a beautiful thing. I am grateful for wonderful in-laws, however far away they may be. I'm grateful for wonderful parents who send me sweet and encouraging text messages to start my day.

I am grateful for a fantastic husband, though right now he is in another room because he can't stand the sound of typing when it is the only noise and once I finish this blog post I will tell him it's all over now and he can come back in, and he will join me in our cuddly cozy bed, which I'm also grateful for, and our cat will whine and be very ungrateful when he stops petting her to go to sleep. All in all, it's a good life, annoying typing noises and goodbyes aside. I love where we are and I wouldn't trade it for the world. What would I do with the world if I got it anyway?

Chapter 4: In Which I Revive the Blog

Well hello there, internet. It seems that what happens to a lot of bloggers has also fell upon me. I started something, got very excited about sharing my life with the blogging world, and then my life got in the way. It was a responsibility I was more than willing to put down in the face of new ones: lesson plans, organizing a classroom, getting to know new coworkers and students, grading, and still maintaining my self-inflicted housewife duties. 


Since I started teaching, I have learned a lot about balancing my social, work, and private lives. I have learned how to organize, how to plan, and how to maintain good relationships. I have learned a lot about discipline. I have learned so many lessons about teenagers that I will hopefully look back on when I am a parent of one myself. I have also learned that I can't do it all. My wonderfully helpful husband does the dishes every night, without fail. I still make the dinner and do the grocery shopping, but after the meal, I put my feet up and enjoy that I have a partner to share some of the load of meal preparation. 


I have also learned to be grateful for the slow moments--the times when I can read for fun, when I can sit and think to myself and daydream about our future. I am appreciative of the time I have right now to sit and write (though in all honesty I feel slightly ashamed that it has been so long since I've taken the time to do so).


The slow moments are so pleasant and desperately necessary. Like my dreams of being the ever-ready housewife (complete with apron, heels, pearls, and a masters degree), they often need to be carefully edited, wisely chosen, and wholeheartedly enjoyed. I choose to take a moment to rejuvenate myself now and hope that I can make this effort much more often in the future.


In other news, two big dreams came true in the last few moments of 2011. I bought a serger from an ad on craigslist (90 bucks, only used three times, like new!) and I ordered a dress form online. It will arrive on Wednesday and the UPS tracker thing tells me it weighs 20 lbs, fun fact! I bought material this afternoon for two dresses. I can't wait to get started. My other dreams of wearing dresses as often as humanly possible and sewing more often may also come true with these two new additions to our tiny apartment! 


Over Christmas, Aaron and I also got a cat, which we named Flannery, but I can tell you more about her later. She likes to walk over the keyboard when she wants attention. I hope, on your part, you had a wonderful Christmas and New Years' celebration, and I hope to have something else for you to read sometime soon.


Until then,
Lauren